I Have Some Questions

I’m 28.
I’m a mother.
I have responsibilities.
I have some questions.

A few weeks ago I was given a lipstick free with some other make up, I have never worn lipstick, not even for my wedding. I always thought it makes me look like an 80s throwback (like earrings, which I also never wear) but I put it on and it actually looked ok. Then I went and bought another one and all of a sudden I wear lipstick. It always felt like lipstick was a ‘mum’ thing – whatever that means it got me thinking about other mum things and suddenly I have a lot of questions.

20140521-094750.jpg see, lipstick pout.

1) When will I have a well stocked fridge?

I remember going to people’s houses when I was younger and they seemed to just have stuff in their fridge available to just cook and eat. I can’t remember home being exactly like that ever but I wonder if this level of organisation is something you just have or not. Will there be a day when my fridge will just be well stocked?

2) When do you get a ‘nice’ car?

My husband has as much interest in cars as he does in the women’s hygiene aisle in the supermarket so it’s no surprise that we’ve never really had a good car. He only started driving two years ago so it’s kind of always been my domain. My strategy has always been to get the absolute cheapest car we can for what we need. Living where we live I do feel that other people judge us on our 1998 Scenic, especially since I reversed into a post and the boot only just closes. So is there a time when you actually have a change in mindset and commit real money to a car – or the unthinkable in this household – a car each?! See also: is there a time when you decide that keeping the car clean is a priority?!!

3) When will I like gardening?

I like my garden to look neat (ish) the grass needs to be cut and most weeds removed. I even plant the odd flower but I have absolute zero interest in it. Gardens are places to play – and if you think I’m just talking about the children then you’re wrong. I like nothing more than making up games that I can win in the garden.

20140521-094742.jpgHere we are playing St Pauls Hoop, whilst the children wrestle somewhere else. Parenting medal here please.

4) When will I have a well stocked wine rack?

I’ve always wanted a lovely wine rack with lots of choice. The problem here is this: I am like a teenager, if there is wine in the house I’ll drink it a lot quicker than if I have to go to the shop and buy it. We used to have a delivery of wine each month before we had kids and we had people over a lot to eat – it cost a fortune and we drank a lot. So when does one become sensible about these things?!

5) When will I wear fake tan without looking weird and when will I know how to stand in photos?

Some women appear in photos to be tanned and standing in poses that kind of look preplanned. My interest in fake tan begins and ends with the two spray tans I’ve ever had – I’ve kind of liked the effect but after a few days it looks kind of dirty and I’m sure my stretch marks are stained forever (sexy). The posing for photos thing – did I miss that class at school?! HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW TO STAND AT THIS ANGLE WITH YOUR ARMS DOING THAT THING??!! I know how to stand up, that’s where my posing skills end. I’m baffled. Is this something that will come to me with time?! Or am I destined to be slouched and pale in all photos forever?

6) When will I start choosing sensible clothes for my children?

Dressing my son like this gives me so much pleasure … But is it normal? Is there a time when I’ll start dressing them like other kids?!

I can’t help feeling that if I had the answers to these questions, and perhaps wore a fleece, the other Mum’s in the playground would talk to me rather than looking quizzically in my direction as I stand awkwardly shovelling biscuits into my oddly dressed child?!

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23 Responses to I Have Some Questions

  1. Catherine says:

    I know exactly what you mean about the lipstick! I very rarely wear it but when I do I feel like a proper grown-up – funny isn’t it! Out of your list, I have number 4 sorted- more essential than a well-stocked fridge I feel!!!

  2. pixiemamablog says:

    It’s only the past two or three years that I always have a well stocked fridge{s} {apart from the day before the grocery order is due!!} !!! It’s great – there is always something for dinner, and no more daily trips to the shops ha!! I do love gardening…. but for the rest, I’m not there either and I’m 33!!

  3. abigail says:

    haha, I think I agree with you on all these points! I think I missed the course on how to be an adult, I mean I haven’t even changed my name after we got married because I didn’t realise that it actually required effort and form filling – I just imagined that it magically changed on everything as soon as you typed it into facebook…

    The well stocked fridge always gets me, how do people do it?! And I long for a day when we have a well stocked alcohol cabinet, not just a random shelf under the stairs with some dregs of whiskey.

    And please don’t stop dressing Wilbur like this, he looks amazing!

    p.s love this post!

  4. this got me thinking. if you’re happy regardless of these things, do they matter? i can identify with a lot of these things (mostly due to money. i mean, have i ever had a well stocked fridge? will i ever own a car ..or learn to drive, even?)

    i have no interest in doing things because they’re ‘traditional’ or ‘what’s done/accepted’, i’d rather do things that please me, because life is too short to spend it pleasing others (who often don’t actually care) ..but when it comes down to it after all the questions and potential over-thinking if you have satisfaction in life, that’s what matters, right? saying that, nothing wrong with wanting to do better in life either 🙂

  5. Donna says:

    Well, I still, at the age of very nearly 30, have never worn lipstick. Like you I feel like an 80’s throwback. I much prefer gloss.
    I think as far as fridges – and wine racks – are concerned, you either have them well stocked or not, I don’t think that is something you grow into although your tastes for wine may change.
    We have two cars although both are over 10 years old with over 70k miles on. We’ve always had a car each since we met and just carried on that way although on Monday we signed for a brand new car. Scary thinking about it. Never had a new car but my Focus is falling apart and just not big enough – Our new Zafira will be AMAZING! x

  6. This post did make me laugh – I’m 30 next year and think I act too much like a mum at times. But sometimes things go wrong – like yesterday when I had absolutely nothing for tea for the girls apart from jacket potatoes with butter and a cheese slice (my baby was not impressed)! And I don’t do lipstick or tanning. Your son looks really good to me – I like his outfit 🙂 xxx

  7. Sharmila says:

    Sod it all, who wants to be sensible. Come and meet me and Ingo, at 36 and 47 respectively we’ve never grown up! And he still doesn’t wear lipstick.

  8. Well, I do wear lipstick (although not every day) but I don’t own a house or a car. A well stocked wine cellar is something we do have – married to a wine merchant has some perks 🙂

  9. Sandra Kelly says:

    I’d say don’t worry about these things. You have a happy family, which is the most important. Wilbur looks good. Why shouldn’t he be different. Lipstick I wear occasionally, certainly never did on the sch. run. Mum’s looking at you are probably jealous of your taste! Fridge only full day after shop, although must admit to full cupboards and freezer. Never had a new car(don’t own one now). Wine cellar,I wish! Enjoy your garden the way you wish and just carry on as you are! Life is for living not for worrying about how others, who you don’t know, view you x x

  10. ha love this post!! earrings make me look like pat butcher and I only just discovered lipstick too, you’ve seen how I dress Wilf so sod it! maybe we’ll never be proper mums but my mum was never a ‘proper’ mum either and I reckon I turned out just fine 😉 x

  11. Great post – The sad thing is that you probably won’t notice most of this happening – it’ll just creep up on you! #PoCoLo

  12. A lot of this questions are my qiestions too! But mostly its the house. When will we have our own house? One where I can do stuff as theres so much limitations when you rent. I still cant hang any photo on the wall and weve been living here 3 years!

    Lovely post. Honest and funny and poignant all at the same time =)


  13. I really loved reading this post!! I too never wore lipstick until about 3 years ago and now I have four different shades of red – I don’t wear it everyday but I do when we go on a rare date night. I also wonder when the wine rack will appear in our house and I too dress my son up in fun clothes – why not, he has long hair and looks like a girl but seriously he is happy and I don’t care. Such a funny and well written post – agreed with all of it

    Laura x

  14. Dean B says:

    I’m 41. I’m a mother. I have responsibilities. I have questions and have no idea what the answer to your questions are too. I’m way older than you and don’t wear make-up, have never used it, not even when I was working. I’m wondering though if I should at least start wearing lipstick at least? And this parenting thing (my daughter is 3), they say it’s supposed to become easier over the years, my question is WHEN, which year? 4th? 7th? 10th? What I know is that it’s supposed to get harder once they reach their teens? The list goes on and on and on 😉 #PoCoLo.

  15. Astrid says:

    I’m nealry 28 too and have many questions too. Still, it seems we’re in a different phase of life, as my husband just got his first real job a few months ago, and there’s no way we’ll get a nice car or well-filled fridge anytime soon. I don’t have kids so I can’t relate to the sensible clothing thing, and I wish we had a garden.

  16. i tried lipstick once at school, but it was more like a lip balm for me, since then never tried it again..fridge ours is always empty as if we dont go shopping, but we do

  17. nikoteen87 says:

    I’m 27 and mum to 4. I too in the last 18 months started wearing lipstick because before it never suited me. I do wear earrings (lots of them like a teenager). My fridge is only every full and well stocked on the day I go shopping but that’s not for long. I have also only just started to like gardening (my idea of gardening means cutting the grass). Ditto with the wine lol

  18. Oh I loved this. I really wonder so much of this myself. Fab post #pocolo

  19. Brilliant post! Overall I agree with Danny BUT I am 43 and I shall answer the questions according to me:
    1 never
    2 Around 40 years old
    3 Around the age of 33
    4 Around the age of 42 (so long as you don’t keep drinking it!!)
    5 Never
    6 I never had that issue!
    Thanks for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x

  20. stephdouglas2014 says:

    Love this post – I like to think people must think I’m the nanny because I can’t possibly be old and sensible enough to be a parent. Alas, photos and my ageing skin tell me otherwise! BUT I think your kid looks gorgeous, I have no interest in the garden except to hack it down once a year (and currently trying to grow sunflowers as it’s a family competition, but the cat has eaten them)…and I hope I NEVER own a fleece! x

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