Being pregnant can leave you feeling like it’s an open day at an over familiar and slightly inappropriate petting zoo. Midwives, doctors and members of the general public will say things to you that you never thought you’d hear as well as have access to your entire body at one time or another (hopefully not the general public, but you never know). Generally most people should live by the rule that they shouldn’t say anything at all – no one wants to hear how big/small/’glowing’ they are. They just want normal conversation. Someone I know called me huge and fat from about 12 weeks onwards – we have honestly not got on very well since. So, to avoid the boring comments on bump size and weight gain here are some of the best unusual pregnancy and birth ‘compliments’ out there:
1) When your baby is due the words you really want to here are these: you have a favourable cervix. Yeah I have!
2) Your iron levels are brilliant! You bet they are. I worked hard on those bad boys. Pass me another spatone with an orange juice chaser.
3) Your nipples are perfect for breastfeeding – music to the ears of the wanting-to-breastfeed Mother (note that your boobs are unlikely to be ‘perfect’ for anything else ever again – so take this compliment to the grave).
4) Your urine is fine! At no other time in your life will you be so pleased to so frequently hear that your urine is exactly how it is meant to be.
5) Upon examination by a midwife or doctor being referred to as ‘warm and moist‘ (thanks for this one Mum) although this will leave junior doctors sniggering it can mean only good things for you and your lady bits. Winning!
6) Your back is so strong – I had this one when the anaesthetist was trying to place an epidural. I took that as a clear compliment – strong back! Raa!
7) You have child bearing hips – trust me, from someone whose hips are good for almost nothing childbirth related – this is a huge compliment. This is the only time in your life when you’ll feel proud and grateful for your ‘roomy pelvis’. Enjoy it and your babies safe passage through it.
8) Being told post birth: Your placenta is lovely! Oh, you … that old thing …
You have to take all you can get in terms of compliments during pregnancy and birth so enjoy these ones.
Anyone have any more?