Fear. The fear.

Middle of February feelings:

Having spoken to a few people about being pregnant for the second time I am beginning to realise that it had the potential to be worse than the first.

Symptoms appear sooner and stronger. You can’t rest – you already have a child. You can’t stop when it all gets too much. You know what is to come.

That’s it. I know what is to come.

I am scared that what is to come won’t come. I wasn’t really too worried about miscarriage in my first pregnancy – I am now petrified. I feel like now I really know what I could lose because I have a healthy and lovely child I desperately cannot lose this one. Yet I have convinced myself that it won’t survive the gruelling 9 months. Why should
I get all the luck only a year after my first baby? It’s irrational I know but it’s a real fear.

I also know what’s to come – the birth, the recovery, the agony of establishing breastfeeding, the sleepless nights … But this time it’ll all be with a 19 month old toddler to care for too.

I mean we did plan it this way – but I am now unusually scared.

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2 Responses to Fear. The fear.

  1. Hello, I’m due next month. I’ll have 21 months between my two! I’ve been so busy running around after this one that I’ve barely had time to count the weeks, so this one has flown by, which in some ways is a bit sad as it might be my last baby. The thing I’m scared most about is establishing breastfeeding with a toddler to run around after. Anyway, The Second Baby Survival Guide and Buddhism for Mothers has been really good. I follow you on twitter, but you can find me at @mamacymraeg or my blog http://mamacymraeg.blogspot.co.uk/ Keep in touch! xxxx

    • bornin2011 says:

      Yes – me too with that breastfeeding fear, we can do it though (right?!) looking forward to hearing all about how it is with 2 in the next few months! Xx

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